Reshma, was fighting for transgender communities dignity over a decade; she passed away leaving behind rich cultural art in the form of songs. Reshma took birth in family of two brothers and six sisters. At the age of eleven, she discovered affinity for singing and dancing. With passing years, changes took place in her. She became more conscious of herself and loved wearing girly colours. Her mannerism and dressing ignited her family members. Her family refused to accept her identity as transgender owing to societal pressure. She abandoned school due to bullying by children. She learned tailoring and remained at home thereafter. It was just a beginning of “n” number of traumas and hardship she was about to suffer. She wanted to mingle, play with other children but fear of being odd one brought her on back foot. “I would watch kids of my age playing hop scotch and fainting into laughter. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a happy crowd of kids? How could I join them? I knew they would consider me as a strange and poke fun at me”– Reshma
One day she went to deliver stitched dresses to Lal Bazar unaware that this visit will change her life. She started conversation with the customer’s family, they insisted her to sing. She began humming song; family members shifted their attention to her melodious singing. She got praised heavenly by all, one of the family member who was an engineer, named her “Reshma”. That’s how her known name came out. She shared the incident with her mother and told her hidden affinity for singing. Her family refused their son to be called as Reshma instead of Abdul Rashid. “That day, I was so happy. I shared the story with my mother. I couldn’t control myself and told her of considering a career in singing and dancing. I even told her the name they gave to me. As I spewed my thoughts, she became inconsolable. She assumed that they made mockery of me which was not true” – Reshma
In Reshma’s late twenties, death of her brother filled the family with sorrow and helplessness. He was survived by 3 kids. She decided to bring up the children. This lead to turmoil in the family, family pointed “how can a transgender raise a family”. She proved society wrong and broke the stereotype. Income from tailoring was not enough so she started capitalising on her talent of singing. She started singing in wedding functions and other cultural occasions to meet ends. In summers she used to sing in weddings and in winters, back to tailoring. She has not left any stone unturned for her nephew, she provided them quality education and food. She dreamt of getting them married and going on Mecca pilgrimage.
3rd gender community is cornered and looked with an eye of stereotype. Most of them are involved in meagre profession like matchmaking, dancing, singing and makeup artist. Reshma too has faced the same and has always stood against it. Her rise to fame helped in catapulting of her hope and effort for her community who were battling socio-economic, mental health and political acceptance specifically in social media. Reshma’s personal struggle from school dropout to supporting orphan which made her a star and an idol of humanity. Reshma addressed the community members, inside the courtyard of the shrine of Hazratbal after offering Jumma Namaaz. She got wider acceptance and her community members called her their leader. Reshma’s talent developed hope in the community for mitigation of community crisis.
“Our community must be led by example. We should get good education and step into varied professions which the third-gender community is doing around the world. If they can do it, why can’t we?”
– Reshma
Reshma’s one of the songs which she used to sing in wedding namely “Haye Haye Wasiey” got viral on YouTube. All credit goes to social media which made her talent delivered to people across the world. Reshma uses Tumbaknaer as an instrument while singing. She used to be get invited by Kashmiri Pandits and people across Kashmir to showcase her singing talent in weddings. Lot of her videos which are innovative in content and style, led to a huge demand for Reshma. Many transgenders started reaching out to audience through social media and showcased their talent, and received social acceptance. Rashid was name given by the society and cultural norms while Reshma was an individual’s personal choice. Death of Reshma has filled the valley with grief and sense of hollowness. She was long diagnosed with cancer, but still fought it bravely. Reshma is no more among us, but she will always be remembered as a symbol of Individuality. Her songs have made her immortal for centuries to come.
