A.R Bhat
Looking at the pure white Sheen falling on the green branches as if two lovers embracing each other for a long time. It appears as if the green branch has waited ages to embrace Sheen in its arm. A pain shoots through my heart piercing every pore of my body. The pain of losing my beloved. The longing of again going in his arms feeling his embrace. My mind signalled me to come and face reality. This valley is filled with my story. The pages of my life filled with shades of love betrayal and helplessness. A place full of beauty but when one looks deep within there is just emptiness. Who is to be blamed for this fortune?? Why was I subjected to such a fate where I am nor a married women nor a widow? My life is swinging between a yes or a no. I pray to the lord almighty that never should a women face such a dilemma as me. My name is Farah which means Joy Happiness. Bas naam reh gaya there is no Happiness in my life.
This is my story how a beautiful world is destroyed by nefarious ideas of some people. These people should be burnt in Dozakh as these monsters destroy lives of innocent people at the cost of their luxury. For them lives of people like me and my husband does not count at all. We are like those silkworms who are nurtured to get best quality of silk for one’s own profits. Once the silk is obtained, we are thrown away. They even try to get gains from our young ones who are in our wombs and have not seen this cruel world. I just have one question why it is so easy for us to get manipulated by these destroyers. Why are we not able to see what is right what is wrong? In the name of Jannat, we are sold lies. Yes, Jannat is there but not for us but for these monsters. They live in Palatial houses live a lifestyle that is not less than a king. The life they live is no less than Jannat, but these luxuries have been obtained by killing innocent people. Our blood is on their hands. They have not only killed us but killed our souls our dreams our aspiration.
On the other hand, when I think of Messiah there are few people who come to my mind. These are the same people we targeted. We tried to injure them in every way either by attacking them behind a faceless mask throwing stones at them or by spewing venom by telling lies of human rights abuse. We just had one agenda to make the world believe that WE ARE VICTIMS. Reality is far from what is portrayed to the world. Yes, we are Victims but not because of people who try to guide us nor because of the Army that protects us day in and out even after hearing so many abuses. We are VICTIMS because of these nefarious people who call us their own brothers. We are VICTIMS because of our religious people who instead of spreading the message of Allah spreads the lies of antisocial elements. Our own people from an immature age sow the seed of Hatred for our own country. The country which has given us the right to live freely. Right to live a life of our choice. Freedom to choose and practice which ever religion we want to follow. The country which gives a second chance even to Militants who had tried to harm. This is the only country which gives you a chance to repent your mistakes. An Army who will treat you as human and guide you to the right path when you surrender
Like every girl I also had lot of dreams I use to stay in Gurez which is near the border. Our village used to get lot of people across the border and there were people in our village who use to support them. One fateful day a visit from across the border changed my life forever. The guys showed my husband dreams of riches, support, and respect he can get if he joins them. We were leading a good life but the web of lies, and the glamour made his mind go insane. I pleaded with him not to fall prey to their evil design, but my pleas were ignored. He lost all interest in work taking care of family. Now his talks were always about how the government is torturing us making us scapegoats. How we need to retaliate and write our own fortunes. He now spoke about revenge about getting superiority over others. Kafir, Mujahedeen now these were frequently used words in our house. My in-laws were scared they did not know how to stop their son. They were afraid that it is just matter of few days, and they are going to lose their son. Their fears turned out to be true in few days and my husband crossed over to join HM. No words uttered no goodbye he vanished in thin air one night. The darkness of that night turned our lives in blackness forever. Its more than 3 years we have not heard from him. Our life has turned upside down. There is no regular income. My in laws are old and cannot go to work. The responsibility of the whole family is on me. I am not educated and had never stepped out the house but there is a saying Life teaches you everything. Life taught me a big lesson. NEVER TRUST ANYONE BY JUST LISTENING TO THEIR PRAISE. TRUST THE PEOPLE WHO STAND WITH YOU EVEN AFTER HEARING CURSES FROM YOU.
Today after 3 years of living a life in rags and at mercy of others I finally started walking towards the path of peace. I took my first baby step towards creating a new life for myself and my family. For 3 years I have not heard from my husband I do not know if I am a married bride or a widow. That is when I decided that enough is enough. I will turn my name. My village being near the border has lot of military presence. They have many roles not only protecting our border and its people but also making sure that the village is looked after well. They have started a small school for children. To make women self-sufficient they have opened small units where one can take embroidery orders. Collaborating with them guarantees a good wage to the artisans making their lives better. I am good in embroidery, so I decided to go and seek their help. This was the first correct decision that I have taken in my life. I was hesitant to go in an army camp to enquire. I was standing hesitantly at the gate deciding to go inside or no. The sentry at the gate noticed me and called out what is it, Sister. Hesitantly I told him I came to enquire of the embroidery unit. He said OK sister wait he went inside. After some time, the gate opened he said Sister come inside this way please. That day I stepped in the world of being self-reliant and prosperity. I started going there and became a member of twenty women who used to work there coming from nearby villages. We were like a family inside. Celebrating all festivals together sharing our happiness and sorrow. The monthly wages against my work improved the standard of living for my family. It has been a year since I joined the group of artisans. I am not dependents on any one and can take care of my family without anyone’s support. I have started smiling. Deep in some corner of my heart I still yearn for my husband, but I know I must accept reality.
IF by Gods will my husband anytime decides to leave the path and repent, I know the Indian Army will give him a second chance. I hope that this dream turns into reality someday. My journey which started with uncertainty has manzil at last. I have arrived toward my destination of Happiness and prosperity. I hope many Farah like me get this path of Happiness and prosperity when the walk in Search of Peace.
