How to be happy – introduction
Is your life passing you by? Are you so focused on your dreams that you are forgetting to enjoy every day to the fullest and be happy with where you are and what you have now?
If you are anything like most people that have a burning desire and vision to achieve something, you could be falling into the trap of being so focused on it that you neglect to enjoy each and every moment on your journey to attaining your goals.
I can liken it to the tourist who remarked that the country he was visiting had very nice scenery if only the mountains where not blocking the view. He did not see that the mountains were themselves part of the beautiful scenery.
How to be happy – the dilemma
So it goes that we often focus so much on our dreams and that ideal life we want to live next year or five years from now that we forget about today. Today is part of the process of getting there and today should be enjoyed as much as when ‘that time’ comes. After all, the pleasure of taking a journey is not in arriving at the final destination, but in enjoying everything along the way.
Have you ever had the impatient feeling that you are not getting to where you want to get quickly enough and therefore find yourself not fully appreciating the here and now? It’s as though something is holding back your happiness until you get what you desire. The only problem in this scenario is that, in the mean time, you are unhappy and life is passing you by.
How to be happy – the good news and the bad news
I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that that huge house you desire, the car that costs as much as the house, the huge flat screen television and all those wonderful things you are planning to get once you are successful will never make you happy. In fact, I know quite a few rich people that are more miserable than you could imagine. They have worked hard all their lives and have every material thing they could ever want, but there is still a lack and dissatisfaction within them that echoes with emptiness.
The good news is that, as Abraham Lincoln stated, “People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” You therefore have the power to decide to be happy no matter where you are in your life. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking you will be happy when you are achieve this and that in the future. If you are miserable now, you will be miserable when you get there unless you change your mindset.
How to be happy – it’s all in your head
Happiness is a state of mind that has little to do with material or social success. “Anyone who desires it, who wills it, and who learns and applies the right formula may become a happy person.” That is the advice from the “father of positive thinking”, Norman Vincent Peale.
There is simplicity in such a statement that makes most people fail to appreciate its significance and truth. We want some complicated formula to a lot of our problems when the answers are with us all the time. The answer to the riddle of how to be happy is simply that you make the decision to be happy. That is as plain and simple as I can make it.
Always remember that there will always be things that go wrong at times and things that upset you or try to frustrate you. But the secret is to decide that no matter what goes wrong and no matter how rough things get, you will not let it get you down. There is one thing that is always in your control. That is you. You decide how you react to any situation.
Norman Peale goes on to say that most people, as much as perhaps four out of five, manufacture their own unhappiness. They do so by thinking unhappy thoughts and having the wrong attitudes towards life. Resentment, ill-will, hate, fear and worry are identified as some of the ingredients of the unhappiness-producing process.
How to be happy – wealth and success won’t do it
No amount of material wealth and success can help an individual that has unhappiness-producing habits to be happy. The result is always frustration and disappointment as the realization sinks into such an individual, after years of seeking happiness through material gain, that it cannot be achieved that way. Some have paid a heavy price in broken family relationships whilst pursuing this mirage. They have had the ability to be happy all along. They just didn’t know it.
It is important to have a dream and to pursue it with everything you have, but you need to know why you are pursuing it. Being happy should not feature as a reason for pursuing that dream. It is not the answer to your happiness: you are.
How to be happy – develop a happiness habit
The process of being happy is simply to replace the unhappiness-producing habits with happiness-producing habits. Changing your thinking and attitude is always the first step. You must drive off the thoughts that lead to discouragement, fear, depression, worry and hate and replace with positive thoughts. For instance, instead of dreading going to work everyday decide that you will enjoy your work today and imagine yourself actually doing so when you start the day. If you expect the best you often get the best.
You should learn to appreciate what you have and where you are at every stage of the journey to achieving your dreams. Remember that your life will not start when you achieve what you want to achieve, your life is right here and now. The present is all you have.
How to be happy – the conclusion
Frederick Keonig said: “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
You are all you can be. Go on and be it.
